


sometimes i'm too broken to pull myself back together

by thisismyastralprojection



Series: stay strong for me? [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, Gen, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, he's not even in this but i hate him, i guess he's mentioned though, kya and katara are driving in a car, oh bea writes angst again who would have guessed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisismyastralprojection/pseuds/thisismyastralprojection
Summary: Kya dies.Katara reels from her mother's death.
Relationships: Katara & Kya (Avatar)
Series: stay strong for me? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150217
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	sometimes i'm too broken to pull myself back together

Katara’s not one to think about the past. That’s how she works, keep moving forward, step after step, never look back, don’t think about the past. Don’t think about the past, don’t think about it, deflect, don’t turn around.

It doesn’t work anyways.

///

She can keep the memories scattered, at the back of her brain, as far away from her conscious thought as possible. She can do that all day but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter, it  _ doesn’t work _ , because when she closes her eyes at night to sleep, the nightmares come. 

Katara can remember snippets, small moments in the car. She can remember sitting in the backseat, staring out the window at all the tall buildings. She can remember Kya telling her about the ice cream shop near her workplace, and how she promised to get Katara a scoop of chocolate after her swim class, maybe even two, if she performed well.

They never got the ice cream. 

They never even made it to her swim class. The only thing Katara can remember after driving downtown is the Ozai Corporation Truck. She recalls staring out the window, making eye contact with the driver in the green minivan next to Kya’s car. At some point, the light must have turned green because Katara can remember moving forward, and then . . . a  _ SLAM _ from Kya’s side of the car. 

She remembers jerking back in her seat, the seat belt loops restricting her breathing. For a moment, all she can think about is  _ ow, my ribs, this hurts, I can barely breathe _ -

And her memories cut off there. 

At some point, Katara knows she must have unbuckled her seat belt and climbed to her mother, asking why they stopped. She can’t remember whether it was her or her mother that took off Kya’s necklace and put it around Katara’s own neck. What she  _ can _ remember, is the pendant dangling near her chest, the cold clasp a shock against her neck.

Katara knows that at some point, someone must have called the police. There’s a fuzzy memory of climbing back into her seat as she hears sirens, probably fearing the police will arrest her for not wearing her seat belt. Time skips a bit, and she briefly remembers someone forcing open the door on Kya’s side. She can barely remember them saying “She’s dead. Probably died on impact. Nothing we can do now.”

And it hurts again and again and again  _ and again _ .

At the time, Katara doesn’t think much of it.  _ They’re lying, my mom’s not dead, she can’t be, she can’t. _ But Katara’s eight, she's old enough to know what death is, even if the impact hasn't fully sunk in. All she knows now, is that Kya will never wake up. She will never fulfil her promise to wake up, she will never take Katara to ice cream, she will never drive them to swim class again. Katara will never see the necklace that her mother wears so proudly worn on Kya’s neck, in fact, she will never see her mother do anything again. 

Later, they’ll tell her that it was a “hit and run” incident. But it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, if the outcome happens to be the death of her mother. Nothing matters, if Kya isn’t there anymore. 

///

When Katara tries to sleep, they come. She lies down at night, closes her eyes, and for a brief second, there’re a few peaceful moments before she hears sirens again, before the heavy slam of the Ozai Corporation truck hits her, before her breathing restricts and before she wrenches awake in cold sweat, forcing herself to break from the nightmare.

So she doesn’t sleep. When Hakoda or Gran-Gran tell her, “Katara dear, it’s late, go to sleep,” she doesn’t. She sits in her room, lying in the bed, waiting for sleep that never comes. 

It’s not until Sokka noticies dark circles under her eyes and snitches to Gran-Gran that people notice. Her father starts sitting with Katara at night, drinking tea with her at the grey kitchen table. Despite Hakoda’s best efforts, it doesn’t help, she still lies wide awake until the sun’s rays peek from the side of the blackout curtain.

She can’t sleep, she can’t. Kya’s face haunts her dreams, and her brain can’t stop replaying the moment the truck slams into them. Her eyes will shut and her brain will flicker back. It’s almost like watching a bad movie on repeat. Katara and her mother, sitting in the car. Boom, next scene, the car getting slammed by the Ozai truck. Then . . . there’s a hollow feeling in her chest, and Katara’s left alone in the dark. The Ozai truck is gone. The car is gone.

And Kya is gone.

She’s not coming back. She’s never coming back.

**Author's Note:**

> so uh, i hope you aren't crying and if you are, uh, sorry :)
> 
> i may add another continuation in the future.
> 
> Also, if you'd like to leave a comment please do. I read them all and cherish them all and while I'm scared to answer them I promise every time someone leaves a comment I go :DDD


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